My Angry, Old-Self Boot Problem

Today I found myself in Colossians. Again, I found myself struggling with what I read. On one hand, this struggling thing drives me crazy, but on the other hand, I am thankful because it shows me that my heart is not so hard that I don't care.

Colossians 3 is about "Putting on the New-Self". In verses 5-9 it outlines what the old-self entails, and that as believers we should consider ourselves dead to those beliefs and behaviors. I found myself cringing as I reflected on myself in response to the list of old self attributes.

For example, in verse 5, Paul cites "greed". Now I would like to consider myself not particularly greedy, however, I immediately felt guilty of this because of my penchant for boots. Yes, you read correctly, I have a problem when it comes to boots. I see them, I want them, and then I feel an uncontrollable need to have them. Forget that I already have 10 pair nestled lovingly in my closet! So, when I saw greed in that list of things I am to be dead to, my heart screamed, "Oh no! Not the boots too!"

And then, in verse 8, Paul talks about putting aside anger among other things. Uh oh...anger? That's going to be a problem. Sometimes I get so angry I could spit!! For me, anger is a safe emotion. It's so much easier to manage than fear, hurt, anxiety, or disappointment. Without anger, I am going to have to face those other messier emotions!

As I read further, Paul talks about "Putting on the new-self". Doesn't that sound easy? Kind of like taking off an old, ratty coat and putting on a brand new one. For me, it just doesn't seem that simple. Trust me, I want it to be. Verses 12-14 talks about all the wonderful accessories that come with that new coat, I mean new-self! Things like compassion, humility, and patience to name a few. Who wouldn't want those? So what is the glitch?

When it comes right now to it, I find that one of my biggest hurdles to that new- self is a lack of self-control. Really, I can control my greed for boots by controlling the impulse to buy them. I can control my anger by making myself view things differently, maybe even more realistically. I can put on my new-self by controlling and ultimately killing my old-self impulses. Not easy, but it can be done!

What I learned today, and have been learning over the last couple of months is that on a very personal level, I need to increase my self-control with the help of God. Fortunately for me, God desires to help me. In 2 Peter 2:9a, it states quite plainly that the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from temptation. In addition, even Jesus, when He was teaching His disciples to pray, shows us that we should pray to be lead away from temptation and to be delivered from evil (Matthew 6:13).

So, with God on my side, I pray that I will be able to resist the new fall fashion line of boots and not get angry as I walk away from them with my new sense of self-control, thus, bringing me one step closer to putting on my new-self in my perfectly fine, old boots.