No doubt...

Yesterday, I was reading I John. The letter is supposed to be an encouragement to Christians about how they are solid in their faith in the face of false teachings, and how they have the assurance of being children of God. In reading this book, I have to confess, instead of encouraging me, it made me doubt myself and my faith a tad. Okay, it was more than just a tad. It disturbed me enough that I could not write yesterday. It made me question if I have the earmarks of being a true believer, which was very disconcerting to me because I want to be at true believer.

In I John, John lays out different ways that we can know and be assured that we are children of God. According to him, true believers stay in the Light, and do not walk in darkness. In addition, God's children do not love this world and the beliefs of this world. John goes on to talk about abiding in God, so that we can have confidence in our salvation and not be shamed at Christ's second coming. The one that smacked me the hardest is when John talks about how we are to be doers of the Word and not only hearers. John highlights this principle as being what will assure our heart before God that we are His. And lastly, John talks about how God's children have the Holy Spirit, and that in the giving of that Spirit, we can know that we abide in God and He in us.

So, why did this distress me so much? Mainly because I doubt myself and sometimes doubt God's love for me. I look at all the things that should be in my life to assure me of my faith, and sometimes I question whether those things are really present in my life. Do I shy away from the darkness? Am I a doer of the Word? Do I really feel the Spirit's presence in my life? Although I know that God recognizes I cannot be perfect in my present state, shouldn't I have more evidence of my relationship with God in my life? When I get like this and start doubting, my head starts to hurt, and I become fearful. I know I can't earn God's salvation, but I worry when I don't think I see the earmarks of faith in my life!

Today, I prayed and prayed for help, and because God is good, He gave it to me in the midst my struggles. He brought 3 verses in the Bible to my attention to calm my soul. The first verse is actually in I John 1:20. In this verse, John says that sometimes our heart condemns us because we are overly-sensitive, but that God is greater than our heart and knows where our hearts really are. That really comforted me because when I doubt, God doesn't. God knows me and knows where I am in my walk with Him. He knows where I need to be in my life, and He will lead me where I need to go. I just need to stop over-analyzing, and rely on God.

The second verse that God brought to my attention is in Jude 1:24. Jude proclaims that God is the One who can keep us from stumbling and make us stand in God's presence blameless and with great joy. Wow! Again, my soul is comforted to know that the Almighty cares enough to help me when I am stumbling around in my doubt. He doesn't want me to wander around in fear. He will take care of me, and will lead me in a way that will keep me from loosing my way. Thank you God!!

The last verse is one of my favorites. It is in Romans 8:26-27. It is the passage that speaks of the Holy Spirit's intercession for us when we are weak. It actually states that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. With that kind of support, I can be assured that even when I am confused and in despair, that the Holy Spirit is speaking on my behalf to get me the things I need to lift me up out of my doubt. Truly amazing!

I praise God for answering my prayers and calming my worried heart! It really does show me that prayer and time spent in God's Word is really important. Yes, it made me question things, but it also answers those questions. Some might say that isn't worth it...if reading the Bible makes you question things, only to give you the answers, isn't it better to not read it at all and bypass that process? I say ABSOLUTELY NOT! Because through that process, my faith is increased. Hallelujah!